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Friends Or Frenemies?

FriendsOrFrenemiesRecently I text a friend of mine. Well, I don’t use the word friend loosely so I don’t know exactly where to categorize her.  I text her  “Hi, How are you guys doing? She text back “Hey, We are doing good!” I was a little taken back that she didn’t respond back with “How are you guys doing?” Maybe because that’s how I always respond when someone asks me that question. I have 4 people who I can call friends. One being my sister, my brother and the other two are not related. These are the people who text me often which doesn’t have to be every week but enough to let me know that they are thinking of me. They are the ones that I know I can count on.  Probably the only four people reading my blog! But, that’s why they are my friends they are my number one supporters. So I’m going to name this person Amy. I will explain a little of Amy and I’s relationship. I have known Amy for about around 5 years now. Her family and mine attend each others kids parties and hang out every so often. Its been a while since we have all hung out together though. We have so much fun when our families are together. We laugh and joke and I don’t want the fun to end. But, I have never felt a connection with her personally. There is this wall up that we haven’t been able to break down. Some of the issues that I have had are whenever we go to their house for a party she doesn’t talk to me. She will greet me when I arrive but after that not much is said. She will talk to whoever that she sees on a regular basis. I don’t expect her to hold my hand and be by my side the whole time.  I personally try to spread my time out equally when I have guest over. I’m a person who wants everyone to feel welcome and I try my best not to hurt anyone’s feelings. If I ever have I promise it was not intentionally.  I’ll text her Happy Birthday and like her pictures on Facebook, Instagram, etc. But, I have never received a text from her on my birthday, granted she does tell me on Facebook.  But, to me that really doesn’t count. I say happy Birthday to friends on Facebook who are exactly that Facebook friends! I don’t have their phone number, or have seen them in years heck some of them I don’t even know!  This reminds me of the movie Vacation that we watched this weekend. Regina Hall had her phone and was on her Facebook page and was showing Christina Applegate pictures that she had posted of her family. Christina was like yes, I  saw that its nice. Regina says “you say you like it but you didn’t hit like on this one, this one, this one.” So that night Christina is in bed on Facebook going back and liking all the pictures. Regina is basically saying your suppose to be my friend but yet you can’t like my pictures??? Maybe I said something to Amy that made her mad. Maybe she just doesn’t like me. Maybe I’m just overly sensitive. There are a lot of maybe’s that it could be. So my question to my readers (all four of you!) What do I do? Should I sit down and talk with her? Do I just leave things as they are?  Do I just cut off all ties with her? Or, am I just being too sensitive?




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3 Comments

  • Reply Shandra

    What you should do depends on how much you value your “friendship” with this person. If you really want a true friendship with “Amy” then you should definitely talk to her. The two of you could just be having a misunderstanding and maybe she feels the same way that you do. From what I get from reading, it really does not seem that your friendship ever really took off. It is just strange to me that she would not talk to you when you are a guest at her house.

    I have had a similar situation with a “friend”. We met because our husbands work together. After I first met her she asked me for my phone number and we would occasionally text each other and always made plans to do things but the plans never became anything more than plans. After a while I would text her and never would get a response. I’d text her on holidays, I’d text her to ask her about the kids, and I never got a response. I ran into her at Walmart one day and told her I had been trying to get in touch with her. She told me she had changed her phone number. When I ran into her I was also pregnant. She acted like she was surprised that I was pregnant but I knew she knew I was pregnant because her husband knew. Anyway, to make a long story short, if I was someone she really considered a friend, she would have given me her new phone number when she changed it. If I was really her friend she would have congratulated me on y pregnancy when she found out months before! It was just so clear to me that she had no interest in having a friendship with me. We were associates because of our husbands. I still run into her often and say hello and keep it moving. She never really put forth much effort for us to form a friendship.

    I say that to ask this, is she deserving of your friendship? Is a friendship with you something she really wants? Is it something you really want? In order for ANY relationship to work both people have to put forth the effort. If you think talking to her may break down that barrier and result in a better friendship then have that talk with her for sure! Either way, I wouldn’t recommend cutting off all ties as it seems that you all do have fun together when your families get together. Maybe it can just be that, a friend you have fun with when your families hang out together. I could go on and on but hopefully I have said something that is helpful! Let me know what you decide!

    January 26, 2016 at 4:37 pm
    • Reply rheonarobinson@live.com

      Thanks for the advice!! It gave me a lot to think about. I’m going to take your advice and not cut her off but I’m not going to reach out to her again. If she reaches out to say hi or something along the lines then I will suggest we sit down and have a talk to clear the air. If not then I will just keep our “friendship” as a family thing.

      January 27, 2016 at 2:24 am
      • Reply Shandra

        Sounds like a great plan!

        February 3, 2016 at 8:12 pm

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